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Friday, January 7, 2011

Catan Boredgame Review

This is a review of the Settlers of Catan boardgame, which I posted on this site in the comments of a learn how to play article:

I've had this game sitting in my closet for about 15 years, haven't touched it, my grandmother gave it to me for my birthday when I was a kid and it seemed like the stupidest game.  Upon further review, it is. I don't know if this article confirms that or not, I didn't read it. What I can say is, if you are in need of some kindling in the winter when you are out of newspaper, grab this game. Actually, you should probably toss out this game, it pretty much burst into flames when I dropped a match on it. Plus, those little game pieces are sized perfectly for stuffing into nostrils. I had a cousin who enjoyed shoving them up his nose, only had to go the ER a few times to have them removed. All those midget houses and road pieces are misplaced immediately, mostly up my cousins' nose. The concept is pretty boring, just by glancing at this article, seems like a game given to prisoners to pass the time/induce torture. Build a road or settlement; resource cards consisting of wood, sheep and wheat; exhilarating shit here. Can't wait to build my road to make a town and populate it with wheat to feed me and the sheep, that I may or may not do inappropriate things have no proof, unless you can fashion a camera out of wheat, wood and brick. Catan is that board game you can't give away at garage sale. "But sir, it uses all the Earth's resources, like rock AND brick!" "Now that you mention that is has rock and brick, I might be interested. Tell me sheep and wood are included in those resources and I'm sold" "Not only that, but it has wheat too". "What the *#&@ was I thinking passing this up. I really like rocks and bricks, but when combined with sheep and wheat or even wood, it creates such a magical effervescence that I think I may have just crapped my pants thinking about it."

Reviewer: 20SidedDie: "The best part about playing Catan is really just being around friends, drinking an O'Doul's and having fun. Racing to build roads and get brick and sheep shipments from the port. Does life get any better?

You know you have good friends when they can sit through a game of Catan. Usually they pass out after hour 6, and that's when I pretend they are sheep."

Catan: A game of wits, wheat and sheep...mostly wheat and sheep.

Here's a real response from someone who is less than happy with the review, which I posted under the name, Hugh Jass:
Grow up Hugh Jass 9 days ago
I truly can't believe that the above person wasted so much time and energy on a 'game'. It's a game - get real, get with it, it's not the end of the world, don't like it move on, but most importantly - hopefully you will eventually grow up and realize how immature your rant really was. Just because you didn't like it doesn't mean everyone else has to have your opnion. Obviously you should have asked your Gramma for another gift!

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