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Sunday, April 1, 2012

Ten Stupid Tips To Stop Yourself From Pigging Out At An All-You-Can-Eat Buffet

1- Remind yourself that you're at an all you can eat buffet.

2- Force yourself to watch the people going in and out of the buffet for 5 minutes.

3- Drink lots of water, it's a great appetite suppressant and if you do pig out, it helps the vomit come out much easier.

4- Sprinkle poison on all the food, that way you know you can't eat it.

5- Force yourself to speak with the manager before you start eating and tell him or her that you were just kicked out of the buffet across town, then ask if they need any King Crab legs or dinner rolls.

6- To prevent yourself from pigging out at an all you can eat buffet when you know you will, make a rule that you can only serve yourself food with your mouth.

7- Don't pretend you're the health inspector like last time and request a plate of every food and then say you will need a second round just to make sure and then threaten to shut them down if they don't get a larger capacity ice cream machine after you eat all their ice cream.

8- So you don't look like a complete pig at an all you can eat buffet, make sure and stop by a McDonald's beforehand.

9- Don't tell yourself you can only eat what you can fit in your stomach.

10- Do not ask yourself what starving kids in Africa would do.

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