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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Happy Freeze-idays from Mr. Freeze

Hello and happy Christmas from me, Mr. Freeze,
     I hope Santa brings you what you want. Christmas is my favorite holiday, for obvious reasons: I’m a Christian and Christmas music is my favorite. J/K lol, I love the cold you numbskull. I want Santa to bring me my two front teeth. J/K lol again! I want to convert my living room into a dead freezing cold room.
     Right now the living room’s pretty much just an industrial freezer, which isn’t frostless BTW. I slipped on the frost in there – not cool. And come to think of it, this wasn’t an iceolated incident. The Penguin slipped in there too. Can you believe that?! You think he’d be the one least likely to slip! And he’s always playing that “I got your nose” game with my kids, Mr. Freeze, Jr. and Ice Cube (I adopted the rapper/actor, J/K, I’m just a big fan of his work and cubes of ice). Who’s scared of a flightless bird anyways? The freezing cold, now that’s chilling. mr freeze, mr freeze cartoon
     I’d like to convert my living room into a cryogenic, liquid nitrogen climate controlled chamber. That would be the coolest! A snow couch would go great in there to chill out on. And I also want a leather jacket, because they’re just cool. But what I really want is a device that can drill to the core of the Earth where I could detonate a nuclear weapon so all of the world’s volcanoes would erupt, creating a cloud of smoke so large and dense it would block out the sun for thousands of years, causing an eternal ice age. Also, I really hate hot stuff. I tried doing this a few years ago as a “school science experiment” with Ice Cube, and when I had to explain to the Feds what I was doing, lets just say I got quite an icy reception.