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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

10 More Things to Say to Someone Trying to Sell You Drugs

"Hey, do you want some marijuana or cocaine?" 

1. I was just going to ask you the same thing. What a small world. Imagine if we said it at the same time. One of us would end up having to buy the other person a coke, which would be humorous considering what we're selling. Ahh, good times.
2. No thanks, I'm allergic to everything but heroin.
3. I'm a police officer......on Hallowee- Oh shit, please don't stab me, I was kidding.
4. If by marijuana and cocaine you mean drugs, then I guess I'd have to say yes.
5. How much?
6. I'm really high right now and it sounds like you might've just asked me if I wanted some drugs. If so, then yes.
7. I've never tried that before, by chance do you have any free samples like at farmers markets? Did I mention I'm amish.
8. Where do you live? How about I go to your street corner and sell drugs to your community?! What's that? People already do that and I'd get shot? That's a good point. OK, carry on.
9. What's your return policy?
10. Do you take Discover? And by Discover, I mean sucking your dick for payment, not that I would do that, but was wondering because I could really go for some cocaine and don't have any money.

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